when i watch you
the smile of our journey
shines back at me
when i watch you
our young dreams
float by on a yellow raft
heading everywhere
when i watch you
the widest ocean
cannot contain
the possibilities
in the blue colored
sky of your eyes
ReadWritePoem #30: Write a poem about the first line from Lucille Clifton’s poem, miss rosie. …when i watch you….
photo: floating by, originally uploaded by millicent_bystander.
Piece of Pie ala Mode 
Really like how you’re anchoring this piece with color… and this is a gorgeous photograph, by the way!
The title is the perfect description of the emotional state the poem maps. That connection of history, of dreaming of wide open possibility. The photo is lovely too.
This is just beautiful. I love the last stanza, especially the line “in the blue colored sky of your eyes”. – Caroline
Really like the last stanza, possibility — this is buoyancy.
beautiful. the depth of the last stanza is incredible. thanks for your comment “in the dark that’s heaven”. i found it very intriguing. i think i’ll put it in my writing journal. 🙂
That is a very beautiful sustained metaphor poem, mutual journey through the vast ocean, very delicate and poised poem, lovely.
You use colours like emotions in this poem. It works well.
Lovely.
I can tell you read lucille clifton before writing this – it has her very spare sense of language.
A gorgeous poem, simple, light, lovely.
i love the hope i hear pouring thru the fluid words….
Such a positive poem. It flows..
rot
very sweet…i like how the stanzas build and develop
simply floating like a leaf.. so lyrical 🙂
Very nice write for the prompt…much enjoyed 🙂